My sister gave me a copy of this book and I have to say that she must have been inspired to do that because the last few days/week Luke has been really difficult. I have been so frustrated with his temper tantrums, disobedience and unkindness towards others. I know it sounds like I am raising a hellion. He really is a sweet boy, but I found myself loosing it with him too many times and feel really overwhelmed. Jake and I have spent a lot of time talking about it, our family home evening lesson this week was on being kind to others as Jesus would have us be. I have spent a lot of time praying for inspiration and lastly, I have been reading this book. One of the great points it made, much to my discomfort, was that his behavior was not his fault. It was OURS. We are not teaching him effectively. We need to re-evaluate and try a new tactic. What we are doing is obviously NOT changing his behavior. It talks a lot about the predictability of human behavior and the great role that environment plays on that. So our goal is to be kinder, softer, calmer more loving ourselves (the idea is to lead by example.) Give more positive affirmations-before the behavior is inappropriate. My patience is being stretched to its limit, but I am determined to succeed. Nothing is more important to me than my children and raising them to be self-confident, loving, generous, faithful to the gospel, bright, healthy kids. I want them to have fond memories of their childhood, and mostly I want to have a strong bond with them-always. I believe that that will be forged with mutual love and respect. I feel I have some bad habits to resolve, and I feel that some things we are doing well, we just need to do them more. I am so grateful for Jake and his wisdom. He really is an excellent Dad and he has great creative ideas for parenting. I know that we are really just embarking on this journey. But I am hoping that if I can curb my bad habits now maybe my kids will come out a little less worse for the wear. Thanks again to my sister for her endorsement of this book. Thanks to so many of you who are good examples of parenting. I pray for continued inspiration and patience... I need it.
5 comments:
Hey! Just got done catching up on your entries. I get so far behind sometimes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...even though I'm late apparently.
You're a good parent Michelle. You and Jake both are. The one thing I've learned with Tres is that even with everything we teach him, even at his young age, he still has his agency to choose what he's going to do. The consistency in the consequences is the hard part but very important. Also remember he is a little boy. They're supposed to be a little wild and crazy.
And if all else fails you can just beat him. :)
OK--take a breath and don't be so hard on yourself. Remember the other point of the book--ignore the things that are age appropriate. Luke is not being unkind to be mean, he is learning how to express his feelings--VERY DIFFERENT. This stage is the NORMAL part of his age and development, not because you have set a bad example. That's only if he still does this as an adult. Children spend their whole childhood learning to relate to the world. Just focus on the positive with him and ignore what you can! (That is from the book too!)
Dido!
Wow!!! Great advice from everyone. I have to tell you that I think that you are a really great parent and that Luke and Ty are very lucky to have you as their mother. I think that as women and mothers we are too hard on ourselves. We need to do all that we can to improve ourselves but also remember that nobody can get through it without the Lord's help. As long you are doing your best to do what you should the Lord will be there to guide you through it all. Trust in yourself and the Lord and be grateful that you are concerned and aware of your children's needs. There are so many children out there who don't have parents that do that. You are doing a great job!!!!
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