Indulge Me

I haven't posted in a while. I don't have much to report...
Have you ever felt as if there was an external force conspiring against you? Nothing big, just all sorts of little things seem to go wrong at once? Then all of those little things start to feel like the weight of the world. Don't worry we are fine. Just in a funk. I told Jake yesterday that you know just how lucky you are when the BIG things you have to complain about are a broken down furnace, kids wetting the bed/making messes, and such. Now granted that isn't all that has come at us this last week. But I know that there are many that would trade what they are currently facing with what I am.
My sister said to me once, " You know those people who when life gives them lemons they make lemonade? They just let the bumps that come with life just roll off their back. I wish I was one of those people." I know exactly what she means. I have never dealt well with things not going, "according to plan". Even day to day. I have a pretty clear map in my head every night before I go to bed at what I want or feel I need to accomplish for the following day. When it doesn't pan out I have a really hard time letting it go. That doesn't even count all of the larger schemes I have in my head of house beautification, crafting, projects etc. Jake once told me when I was complaining to him about not getting enough done that he never had any idea that I have so many things I am trying to accomplish all the time. Most of them I never voice to him. I guess it is the OCD/analness in me. Though I don't want to spend all day cleaning and ignoring my kids I still secretly wish my house was as clean as if I had. Though I would love nothing more than to play with and teach my kids all day long, I still know I can't, but find myself feeling guilty at the time I do spend away from them. I have always been one with high expectations. So for the last week NONE of my days have gone "according to plan". Trying to roll with it, smile and make lemonade. Here's to trying to learn a valuable life lesson. Thanks for listening.